When it comes to the question: “How do you learn to love yourself again?”, the answer can be found within you. The cardinal rule to living a complete and fulfilled life is “love yourself first before loving others.” But to many of us, loving ourselves often takes second place in our own lives, much to our detriment.By pushing our self-loving core needs aside, we neglect our own value and deny our self worth. We put others ahead of us and we are slowly letting our self image erode. Over time, we begin to fade right before our very eyes.It is important to nurture the part of yourself that functions as an emotional support system. Choose happiness in your life every day by making yourself the number one priority over everything else in your life. You need to become your number one biggest fan – your own greatest cheerleader.What is the key to happiness? Self-love. This is the basic building block to a successful and rewarding life. Value yourself. Adore yourself and learn to cultivate a habit of an effective and gratifying daily self loving routine.
What Is Self Love?
Self love is the combination of various self-positive traits like self respect, self confidence, honoring oneself, trusting oneself, and belief and faith in oneself. As children, self love came easily and naturally to us. We didn’t have to remind ourselves to appreciate and nurture our minds, bodies, and souls. We cherished life and we loved living it. Self love embodies that feeling all over again and throughout the rest of our time here on earth.However, over time with enough negative outside influences, we fall victim to negative conditioning. The messages we receive from our surroundings will start to take over our thoughts and emotions. Through media messaging (TV, Social Media, radio, etc.), and environmental (upbringing, how one is raised in a family), we can learn negative self-talk like loathing, distrust, second-guessing, self-defeat, neglect, and discounting ourselves.What Does Self Love Mean? Self love is the most important factor in our emotional existence. The best thing you can do for yourself is to learn how to fall in love with yourself again. Loving yourself is the best medicine for any major shake up in our lives: break up, divorce, infidelity (cheated on), etc. You are doing justice and honoring yourself. You’re resetting your internal dial and tuning it to love and happiness. Remember that happiness is a choice and self love is a requirement.Self love is the ability to turn off all external signals and only rely on the internal ones. A strong, stable emotional foundation is required for this. You need to be rock solid emotionally. Your confidence is impenetrable and your intuition is like a beacon leading down all the right paths. If loving yourself seems like a far off destination, then use the exercises below to take you there. All it takes is some devoted time and practice and self love will be emerging out of every available pore.
Why You Should Love Yourself
You should love yourself first “because no one else can love you better than you can.” Especially, not to the level or the ability (or capacity) you have to love yourself. Many will ask: “Why Love Yourself? It’s selfish!” Those that say self love is selfish have it backwards. Really backwards. Understand that no one is going to love you (or yourself) as much as you will. Not your parents, not your spouse, not your children, not your best friends. And so that means you need to be your own best lover, best friend, and best emotional supporter.Why is that? Because just as much as you have to love yourself first, they have to love themselves first. Just think of all the priorities they have in their lives. When it comes to you or them, they choose themselves first over you time and time. Just as you should choose yourself over them every single time. And there’s nothing wrong with that. That is the way it’s supposed to be.Loving yourself is a staple in life. It’s a mode of survival. If you didn’t love yourself enough to get out of bed, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, or get dressed, then you have to ask yourself who would do that for you, if not you? You need to have some type of internal motor, some drive, some motivation to get up and live your life. That is a basic demonstration of self love. This is a minimum level. However, imagine if you could maximize this into the highest levels of self love.You are the most consistent part of your life. You have to wake up with you every day. You have to sit and ear with you every day. You are at work with you. You set and achieve goals with you always around. It’s time to see you as your own best friend. Often times this means nurturing your inner child or connecting with your higher self, both of which are spiritual centers of you. You are the common denominator in your life. Make the time you spend with yourself count!
How Do You Love Yourself First?
If you ever taken a flight on an airplane, you’re very familiar with the pre-flight safety demonstration the attendants present right before takeoff. One of the most significant points made during that drill is the “emergency oxygen mask deployment”. If the airbags drop from the ceiling above, please make sure to — one on YOU FIRST before assisting any others. This means before even assisting your children, the elderly, a spouse, etc. Why would they need to make that reminder?
Because people have forgotten to love themselves first. People believe that the safety and sanctity of others come before their own — even in an emergency! The airline tells you this every single time you get on a plane because it’s a safety hazard if you don’t take care of yourself first! Read that again – take care of yourself first. Because by not taking care of yourself first, you’re putting other lives in danger, especially your own.Use this analogy for your own life. If you are a doting parent, or if you have other family members to take care of, or if you manage an office, or if in general people in some way somehow rely on you, you need to take care of yourself first – so that you can keep serving others – the ones you deeply care about. If you’re sick, then you’re in bed all day. You can’t make a meal. You can’t drive. You can’t do much and are incapacitated until you are well again.So how do you love yourself first? You need to learn how to shift your mindset to see yourself as the most important person in your life. If you’re not loving yourself, then you are depriving yourself of love and hence making yourself sick – slowly, but surely. Now imagine this happening day-in and day-out throughout your live long days. You aren’t much use to the world if you keep making yourself sick by depriving yourself of what you need – self love.
How do you love yourself first?
- Place yourself as number one priority.
- Become best friends with yourself.
- End the destructive and judgmental chatter in your head.
- Remove negative inputs (the sources may be people in your life)
- Begin meditative practice of reinforcing only the positive. [Watch our introduction to meditation video here.]
- Disconnect from all past hurts. Heal yourself from within. Nurture your inner child.
- Spend more time with yourself, and learn to enjoy being by yourself
Learning How To Love Yourself Again
For some, loving yourself is a bridge too far. If that’s the case, you don’t need to jump right in with self love. Try out gratitude. Knowing how to be grateful is a cure all for the blues. Gratitude is the best attitude to have in order to lift your spirits and learn to appreciate life again. If you’re still stuck on the question: “How do you learn to love yourself again?”, work with gratitude. Make it a daily habit. Create a gratitude journal and use it liberally. Watch how your self-esteem grows back into its original beautiful form.
How To Practice Self Love Daily
Find the best and most relaxing way to love yourself. Enjoy a day at the spa (or a long hot bath at home). A day at the beach (or by the poolside). Animals are a great way to nurture that inner child. A pet (or volunteer at the local animal shelter). There are numerous way to practice self love daily. Just find the one that lights you up from the inside.
Ways To Love Yourself Again
- physical hug (or pat on the back)
- hold your arms above your head
- go for a run
How To Love Yourself Again Spiritually
Meditation is probably the best way to learn to love yourself again metaphysically.
How Do You Learn To Love Yourself Again
Love Yourself Again Therapy
If you’re still finding the self-love process to be challenging and you would like hands-on help and spiritual or metaphysical guidance, please sign-up below for the next available appointment. Counseling for confidence held in confidence.